I have been running for so long. I have either been running away from something or trying to run towards something but today I was reminded of something I had forgotten. Actually it is something very easy to not do so for me. It is to relinquish control of what cannot be controlled. I agree we are the ones who make choices in our lives, but what I agree with and still struggle to act upon is that life happens and we can’t always control everything. When we do something which makes us feel in control of our lives, we feel empowered. But when events occur and we are unable to control them, we feel frustrated and weak. Why is that? In my opinion, it’s because we compare the moments when we thought we could control something with what we cannot control, and I generally prefer things that I can control. I understand I sound like a complete control freak right now, I even am one so many times but you see I’m a partial hypocrite. I say I love adventure and surprises, which I do, yet I struggle to give up control when unusual and uncontrollable scenarios rise. Contradicting isn’t it? Well, what I have analysed is that I tend to accept only the positive aspects of adventures or I only generally keep my calm when the surprise is only slightly negative in my perspective.

I’m really grateful that I was reminded today that I must enjoy the journey and stop running. Working towards your dream is something else and trying to control how you reach your goal is something else. So it really isn’t about the end is it? It truly is about the journey. For me, my hard work is my journey, growing and becoming stronger with each passing day is my journey, and I’m glad that it is.

I have been running towards my goals, love, life and everything that I think is important. I have been trying to jump up the ladder and loosing my patience in the process. I have been trying to find love and feeling low over the fact that I couldn’t. So, I’m giving up in the best way possible. I know what I want but clearly just hunting and driving myself insane over love and success isn’t getting me anywhere haha. I always knew patience is a virtue I have to attain but for now I can consciously try and be more patient. And so I have decided to let go. I want to and am letting go. I won’t get scared of not reaching my goals, I won’t run behind finding true love and I won’t chase away emotions that I feel are a bother. Because when I did the exact opposite, I just ended up being so frustrated. It won’t be a sudden change and of course I will still need to constantly remind myself of all of this, hence writing this shall remind me of my resolve and I can keep renewing it whenever I stumble again.

‘Gardez la foi’ It means ‘keep the faith’ in French. I actually have that as a tattoo on my back. I can’t help but laugh at the fact that so many times I falter to keep it’s meaning intact. It’s alright though, we are humans. That might even be an excuse, even so, as long as we can keep growing it’s completely fine.

So I’m letting go. I’m still going to work hard towards my goal but I also want to strike a balance in just ‘being’ and taking things head on as they come.

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”  – Greg Anderson

PS : Zoya Rana was with me. Remember her.

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