You don’t love her, she knows that. You never intended on loving her, she knows that too.
So easy it is for you to walk away from someone. She has known heartache, she’s a coward just like you. Never did she place her heart in your hand, she knew it wasn’t wanted. Yet, somewhere down the line she became attached. She was warned by the ones who love her, they told her to be careful, but she didn’t listen.
She cherished those moments, when you laughed together, lay together. She knew it wouldn’t last, so she clung onto the time you did have together. She peeled away her mask but tried to keep her walls high.
She said she was okay, she thought so too, but I saw what was happening. I know she wanted to make you breakfast, she wanted to spend hours trying to get to know you, she wanted to see you happy, but she didn’t realise it. It’s for the best I suppose, she would have sprinted away the instant she would understand what was happening. Now the moment is over and she is back in her ways. She is okay, she says. I find it hard to believe. I see the hurt in her eyes, I see how she holds out her unwanted heart.
But I thank you, hurting her so many times has made her stronger. I see more courage in her now, I see that she is brave enough to love again. She stands firm now, even when she’s out alone in the cold. Watching you walk away made her realise what she wants, she knows now that she deserves more than fickle evenings.
You and the world may see her as a fool, maybe she is. Although I challenge anyone to be so open to love, it is frightening, it can break her, she knows that. But she has set sail, she will not settle for less and I will not let her.
I will let someone have her when he has love to offer. Someone who will fight with her but also for her. He will let her take care of him, he will cherish his moments with her. A brave man who will be able to take all of her and not just bits and pieces. I will let her run to him when I see vulnerability from him, it takes courage.
And you, my gratitude is with you. Because you opened the eyes of a girl who was too afraid to see what she wanted. What is life without love?
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